Confessions of a slightly ADD mother
I planned to clean the kitchen this afternoon, here’s how it went: Wash two dishes. Hmm, I should wash that nasty frying pan. I really don’t want to. Hey a UPS package! Ooh, look, my bottles and lip gloss tins! “Here, Jimmy, take these eggs to Grandma’s.” Start making lip gloss, spill it everywhere. Why was I wearing a cashmere sweater while making lip gloss? Why do I even own a cashmere sweater? “Joey, stop stirring egg yolks around with your fingers.”
Start cleaning up the lip gloss. Eat a cookie. Why are the girls playing with colanders, pot lids and paper bags all over the kitchen floor? Check my e-mail. “No, you can’t have a cookie.” “Good point. Fine have a cookie.” Hey, I think I’ll make some hair conditioner while the kitchen is a mess anyway. Why am I making conditioner instead of dinner? Go to my laptop and look up how to make conditioner on the internet. Check my e-mail again. Why hasn’t she responded to my message yet? I wonder what’s going on on facebook? Hmm, nothing interesting. Make and bottle the conditioner. “Someone come get ‘Lena!”
Return to cleaning up lip gloss. Wow, it smells great! Take some from the stove top and rub it on my lips. Hmm, works pretty well, too. I should give this out for Christmas. I should make dinner. I wonder what we’re having. Eat a cookie. Put water on to boil for rice. Talk to my mom on the phone for a while. Check my facebook. Comment on and ‘like’ a few things. I wonder how long that water’s been boiling? Add the rice and put it in the oven. Gee, these hotpads look ratty. I should make some new ones. Eh, they’re good enough.
Baby wants to nurse. Go look at yarn on knitpicks.com while I feed her. E-mail my husband to tell him what to get me for Christmas. "Why can't anyone turn off the lights around here?" Finish wiping up the lip gloss. “Kids what are you doing?” Wonder why there are eggs everywhere. Put the eggs in containers in the ‘fridge. Throw out a few containers with questionable contents. Why are there toys in here? Take the baby potty. Fold a few pieces of laundry. Oops, didn’t set the timer for the rice. Set it. I wonder what we should have with this rice for dinner? Throw some chicken and veggies in a pot. Hey, look there’s my computer. I think I’ll just write in my journal for a minute. I don’t want to forget that funny thing Joey said. What was that funny thing Joey said? What's that horrible smell? Throw out the burnt chicken and veggies.
“Mom, what’s for dinner?” “Rice.” “What else?” “Um… canned oranges, and peanut butter?” Earnest protest. Off to check the freezer…